Nate Merit

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Posts by Nate Merit

• 
  66

  Say something here, that you'd say in your JW active days

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'll start:.

  hey brother smith, how about if we go preach the good news tomorrow morning, hey?

  pick you up at 9

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  Nate Merit

  "Buenos dias senora'! Yo soy Testigo de Jehova. Maygoostaria que layera esto con cuidado." (spelling is prolly all messed up)
  
  "Good day ma'am! I am a Witness of Jehovah. I have something that I would like you to read carefully."
  
  Thirty four years ago I lived in San Jose and had memorized this phrase so I could say something when a householder spoke only Spanish. I would then hand them a booklet in Spanish that I kept for the purpose.
  
  Nate
• 
  19

  Corroded Sparkplug

  by Sparkplug in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  today i sat and really realized how absolutely hopeless i feel.

  i have had so many things happen in my life this year and a huge percentage of it has been items i have to face or tackle.

  i have prioritized and organized myself to death and i am so very overwhelmed.

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  Nate Merit

  Dear Sparkplug
  
  Most people are overwhelmed, but don't realize that others are too.
  
  That doesn't make your situation or my situation any less serious. It can, however, keep us from feeling as though the universe has singled us out for trouble.
  
  Warm regards,
  Nate
• 
  27

  Another Prank :)>

  by Nate Merit in

  1. social
  2. humour

  mark smith and i pulled this prank during the approximate time-frame as the others.

  mark had been disfellowshipped from the church of christ at age 19, i from the jw's at the same age.

  mark and i were 25 and 26 respectively at this time.

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  Nate Merit

  Glad ya like it lonely-sheep! This pranks is Mark's favorite, since he was disfellowshipped by the C of C.
  
  Any typos and mistakes in the story are due to the hurried nature of the writing.
  
  Goodonyemate!
  Nate
• 
  27

  Another Prank :)>

  by Nate Merit in

  1. social
  2. humour

  mark smith and i pulled this prank during the approximate time-frame as the others.

  mark had been disfellowshipped from the church of christ at age 19, i from the jw's at the same age.

  mark and i were 25 and 26 respectively at this time.

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• 

  Nate Merit

  Mark Smith and I pulled this prank during the approximate time-frame as the others. Sometime in 1979.
  
  Mark had been disfellowshipped from the Church of Christ at age 19, I from the JW's at the same age. Mark and I were 25 and 26 respectively at this time. Our motive: MISCHEIF!
  
  We'd been having discussions with an elder of the Ann Arbor C of C during which the elder stood up, told us we were on our way to hell, and left in a huff.
  
  That was a big mistake.
  
  A week later, Mark and I were sipping wine waiting for our spouses to return home from shopping. It was late, and I was buzzed. We were discussing the behavior of the C of C elder, when I hit upon a Plan.
  
  "Hey man, check this out!" I said to Mark as I grabbed the phone book and opened it at random. "Guide me oh thou great Jehovah!" I playfully prayed as I opened the book at random and plunked my finger down.
  
  "What're you doing?" Mark queried as I carried the phone book to the map of Ann Arbor that was mounted on his living room wall.
  
  "Setting that elder up. Maybe to get an ass whuppin'."
  
  I searched the map for the location of the man whose name I had picked at random. His name was "Mustbe Atool."
  
  "Got our victim!" I declared, with the little gleeful dance that usually accompanies the mysterious workings of My Great Brain.
  
  Mark stood up and walked over to the map, clueless. "What the hell are you up to now?"
  
  "Just watch the Maestro at work, okay?"
  
  I scribbled down directions to Mustbe Atool's house, then dialed his number.
  
  "Hey is this mister Atool?" I inquired politely, as a very deep male voice with a nasal twang answered the phone. Oh goody, I thought, a giant to pancake Elder Butthead!
  
  "Yes it is. Who may I ask who is calling?"
  
  Yes you certainly may ask, I said to myself, but you sure as hell aren't going to get a straight answer! Mimicry is one of my gifts, so I disguised my voice as that of Elder Butthead, a hoarse and gravelly voice that was easy to copy.
  
  "Yes, this is Elder Butthead from the Church of Christ. I'm going to come over to your house and LEAD YOU TO JESUS!"
  
  "OH NO YOU"RE NOT!"
  
  I hung up the phone. "Okay Mark, let's find Elder Butthead's number." Mark searched eagerly through the directory, now understanding my nefarious scheme.
  
  "Got it!"
  
  "Give it to The Maestro."
  
  I dialed the number as Mark pinpointed Elder Butthead's precise location on the map. When the irresistible force met the immovable object, we wanted to be there. I disguised my voice in the same nasal twang as Mustbe Atool.
  
  "Hello, Elder Butthead?"
  
  "This is he."
  
  "My name is Mustbe Atool, and I found your name in the phone book, in the ad for the Church of Christ."
  
  "All right. How can I help you Mr. Atool?"
  
  "Well, I've been mighty depressed of late. Ever since my dawg died and I lost my job and my wife left me, things just ain't been the same. I need help, sir."
  
  "Well, you certainly must have been guided by the Lord! Would you mind if I swung by your home with a friend of mine who's been through the same trials that you've been through?"
  
  "That would be great sir, just great!" I gave Elder Butthead directions, and gave Mark my Evil Grin. The grin I reserved for special occasions such as this, when pranks were moving smoothly like bowels and bran flakes.
  
  "See you in a few minutes then Mr. Atool."
  
  "Oh thank you sir. God bless you."
  
  Click.
  
  "We gotta hurry Mark! They only live about a mile apart!"
  
  Mark was searching for his car keys. He drove a beat up piece-of-shit yellow Datsun. I slipped on my coat and zipped it up.
  
  "I found my keys! Let's go!
  
  Out the door we went and ran to Mark's Datsun. He fired it up and soon we were running red lights to get to Mustbe Atool's house on time. Mark nearly collided with the side of a semi.
  
  "Jesus Christ on a bicycle Mark! Cut it the hell out! I wanna pulla prank, not have a near death experience!"
  
  'Shut up and be a passenger Merit."
  
  "Up yours Smith."
  
  "Your mother's a bitch, Nate."
  
  "Yeah, so?"
  
  Our usual warm and endearing banter. About fifteen minutes and three heart attacks later, Mustbe Atool's house was in view. It was easy to spot because Elder Butthead and a hippie were out front with a knuckle dragging mouth breather I could only assume was Mr. Atool. Mustbe was a bit peeved. I deduced this from the flailing of his arms and the volume of his voice, as well as the telltale cowering of Elder Butthead & Company.
  
  Mark pulled to a stop and honked the horn, and I rolled down the window. The three men froze, startled, and then looked our way. I spoke up. Doing my Elder Butthead impression once more, I said,
  
  "I'm going to come over to your house and LEAD YOU TO JESUS!"
  
  All three men got bug-eyed. Mr Atool fixed me with a fairly dangerous gaze.
  
  "Book!" I shouted and we were gone.
  
  "We're gonna look back on this and wonder what the hell we were thinking," Mark said absently.
  
  "You know it," I agreed.
• 
  49

  Debunking Dawkins

  by Shining One in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a reformed response to: .

  is science a religion?, by richard dawkins, the humanist, jan./feb.

  the faith of science .

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  Nate Merit

  I received a PM about this post. No, I do not believe in a personal God that answered my prayer. I'm convinced the answered prayers were answered by my own fiddling with the fabric of space-time on a quantum level with the immense power of faith/mental effort.
  
  Whew!
  
  Nate
  "The Answer Man"
• 
  63

  Book - "A People for His Name" by Timothy White

  by VM44 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  .

  "a people for his name" by timothy white is an early, but still excellent, book about the history of the jws.. here is a page containing portions from the book.

  http://members.fortunecity.com/peopleforhisname/peopleforhisname.htm.

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  Nate Merit

  Hi Leolaia
  
  Hey, I can't kill EVERYTHING!
  
  As to Timothy White and secret files: I seem to recall (and its been a very long time, therefore this recollection may simply be random neural misfirings) a statement in the Introduction to his book to the effect that he was granted access to files at headquarters, files normally inaccesible.
  
  Nate
  "Remembering places I've never been"
• 
  63

  Book - "A People for His Name" by Timothy White

  by VM44 in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  .

  "a people for his name" by timothy white is an early, but still excellent, book about the history of the jws.. here is a page containing portions from the book.

  http://members.fortunecity.com/peopleforhisname/peopleforhisname.htm.

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  Nate Merit

  Hi VM
  
  LOL on posting my review. I like the highlights on Timothy White.
  
  Via con nada mi amigo.
  
  Nate
• 
  171

  GAGS I HAVE PROUDLY PULLED ON JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES :)

  by Nate Merit in

  1. social
  2. humour

  in 1984 (shudder!

  ) my bud mark smith and i picketed the kingdom hall in ann arbor, michigan.

  our signs had a watchtower drawn on them and said 'this religion is a snare and a racket!

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  Nate Merit

  Hi Golf
  
  Thanks for the welcome!
  
  Well, hopefully, any pranks that are pulled on the JayDubs are not of a nature that could get anyone arrested in this hysterical post-911 culture.
  
  Yours in similar content,
  Nate
• 
  171

  GAGS I HAVE PROUDLY PULLED ON JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES :)

  by Nate Merit in

  1. social
  2. humour

  in 1984 (shudder!

  ) my bud mark smith and i picketed the kingdom hall in ann arbor, michigan.

  our signs had a watchtower drawn on them and said 'this religion is a snare and a racket!

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  Nate Merit

  Hello Evanescence
  
  Thanks for the post!
  
  After all these years I honestly can't say what motive Mark and I had for pulling those pranks. I do know part of the motive is simply that we are both pranksters from childhood. We still love well planned pranks.
  
  Namaste,
  Nate
• 
  171

  GAGS I HAVE PROUDLY PULLED ON JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES :)

  by Nate Merit in

  1. social
  2. humour

  in 1984 (shudder!

  ) my bud mark smith and i picketed the kingdom hall in ann arbor, michigan.

  our signs had a watchtower drawn on them and said 'this religion is a snare and a racket!

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  Nate Merit

  Hi R6 Laser
  
  A sorry excuse for what? How am I supposed to know what you mean with such a terse reply? Do you mean a sorry excuse for the pranks? If so, you're way of the mark. I've been pulling pranks since I was a little kind. I still pull pranks, though not of the scope I did when I was 26. Mark and I also pulled pranks on the Church of Christ in the area that year (1979, 26 years ago), not just the JayDubs.
  
  Unless you are dead or simply lacking in a life, I know you pulled pranks too. You simply couldn't resist a chance to condemn someone though, so you posted here. Making sure I ws long gone first. Well surprise I'm baaaa-aaaack.
  
  I'll bet you are one of the pharisaic phundies who haven't a CLUE as to how pharisaic they are. You are harsh, judgemental, lacking in mercy, very sure of your own salvation and very sure you know who is saved and who isn't, you look down your nose at others, you hold other people to a standard you yourself don't measure up to. You're the quintessential pharisee.
  
  See ya later ya hell-bound pharisee!
  Nate
  "I knew Jesus back when he was a snot-nosed KID!"